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1. sitting in the morning at the table.
2. walking to the table at recess.
3. 5th period.
4. lunch.
5. afterschool.
6. matts house.


those are how many times i saw HER today. those are all the times i could have done it.
those are all the times i should have done it.
pathetic.
thats all that i can say that describes me. my 156.
i want her.
i cant have her.
i will never know.
am i emo.
i dont think so.
but i wouldnt really know.
i think im just scared.
scared of her answer.
scared of the situation.
scared to leave my comfort zone.
scared to be with her.

no.

why would i be scared of that, there is no logical reasoning for that.

then why be scared?

why be scared. why be scared. why be scared.
scared to fall in love
scared to be hurt
scared to get my hopes up to watch them fall
scared to...

no school today.

supposedly to be one o f the best days for a while.
i find this highly unlikely. finding that ill be stuck inside on such a beatiful day
working on a website. i think if i were to get a job, i would detest
one that would force me to diminish any human contact.
i want to go out into the world and take photos.
photos of the world around me
the smallest thing could spark the biggest feeling.
i want to take a photo that affects all the senses.
one that brings back memories of childhood.
ill try to be happy today and just look out my window.