im back on blogspot again.
i was trying to find my old one but i forgot everything for it.
funny though, i always seem to forget things like that. i ussually brush it off.
but i guess if you do that youll never remember to do anything, which is probably a bad thing, yes.

i assume so.

i got my braces off today. although now i wish i had worn my ruberbands and all that jazz,
but i guess its ok. im fine with it.

if youre always fine with it youll never really be happy. youll only settle.

i guess thats what i do on a daily basis.
i settle.
i settle for doing mediocre work knowing i can do better
i settle for being made fun of and not doing anything about it
i settle and let people walk over me.

then why not do something?

i wouldnt know where to begin.
well there is this girl
i wanted to ask her out on a date but idk whenever i decide i am gonna do it
i always chicken out.

then you havent really decided have you?

well i guess not. but its just so hard. i get super nervous around her or any girl for that fact.
i always thought it would be something easier to do. not something so difficult.
like you would be able to do it, like eating or breathing, its like second nature.
but i guess that isnt true, for some it is.
id be envious of them, but it never looks like they are happy.

so what do you want then?

i want someone that is there. like someone that is yours. not like ownership but of their own volition. you are theirs and they are yours. a friendship that lets you be totally honest. one were you share your pain and happiness together. someone to talk to when you just feel like talking.
someone to be close with, some one that is there. but now it seems in this day and age all girls see are the guys that only cheat on them, treat them badly, and who am i. im the guy thatthey tell this stuff to. the guy that has to comfort her when he leaves her for that big breasted girl who gives it up easy. and then when hes tired and wants to come back to her she welcomes him back with open arms. not even a single doubt. they tell you that they dont want anything to do with that person, and then you see them the next day making out.

hmm.

well yes that is besides the point. i assume i will ask her tomorrow. i mean its one person in what, a bazillion. i assume it will be one of the nost awkward nonents in my life. one where all my insecurities will be vulnerable. her answer will probably manipulate how the day goes.
oh well i guess well see.